Smiles
by sandra70
Summary: a little 3x20 canon divergence where Killian is not left out at the hospital but is unexpectedly included


_**Smiles**_

 _Never thought I'd see one of those._

 _It's called a baby._

 _No, Swan. A smile._

A smile.

Nothing makes Killian Jones's heart soar more than seeing Emma Swan smile, indeed a very rare occasion, so he should really be happy, and he _is_. Yet...

His own lips pull briefly into a smile, but it's one of those melancholic ones that are dominated by the sadness in his eyes.

It's a really heartwarming scenario, and it _does_ warm his heart, to see this family united that has gone through so much, lost each other so many times. But in the end, they always find each other... save each other. It's almost like the strong bond they share ties them together in a way that makes it physically impossible for any force, magical or not, to separate them permanently. These people... deep down in his heavy, heavy heart he knows he cares about them, _all_ of them, even if he keeps telling himself that what bound him to this latest quest was just a temporary alliance. Of course it was _not_. And Emma Swan... he loves her, there's no use in denying that, he's even said it out loud. He hasn't given up hope yet that she might change her mind about going back to New York with her lad, even if the odds don't seem to be in his favor. Even though she's very adamant about it being the best choice, he has a feeling that she might be trying a little too hard to convince herself that it's for the best... or is that just wishful thinking on his part?

Killian exhales slowly and lets his gaze sweep almost longingly over the family huddled together in the hospital room once more before he takes a step back, suddenly feeling a mighty urge to leave this place. Because watching something from afar you long for but most likely never will be a part of... it's not something you want to endure for long. Emma offered him once that he could _be a part of something_ , and he tried, he really tried his best to be exactly that, but somehow he never really seemed to fit in. And when you're always the outsider, only reluctantly tolerated to be around, but never really valued or trusted, it weighs on you, it _hurts_... especially when you know that you probably deserve that cool shoulder mostly shown to you.

He turns around and heads for the stairs, not really trusting that suspicious thing they call _elevator_ , when he hears Emma's voice, surprisingly enough, calling him. "Hook! Where are you going?"

He stops mid move, and it takes him a few moments to collect himself and plaster a fake smile on his face before he turns around, mask firmly in place, and raises his eyebrows in question without a reply, but she obviously doesn't expect one.

She takes two steps in his direction, fists buried deep in the pockets of her jeans, and asks, "Don't you want to say hello to my brother?"

Now that's a little unexpected. "Oh, I don't know..." He scratches behind his ear and tilts his head in a doubtful way. "I wouldn't want to... intrude."

"Intrude?" she echoes, and the incredulity in her voice elates him to stupid amounts. "You helped saving him, remember?"

He averts his eyes and shakes his head. "Not really, Swan. I'd only made it worse. Regina ended it," he points out. "Hardly anything I could contribute."

Emma licks her lips, suddenly the tiniest bit nervous, much to his surprise. "Yeah, about that..." She draws a deep breath. "Listen, I owe you an apology." Killian's ears prick up, and his eyebrows raise higher than usual. A smile _and_ an apology from Emma Swan? Today must be a really extraordinary day for sure. "What I said the other day about you," she continues and, after a little hesitation, adds, "about your _hand_... I didn't mean it like that." She shakes her head vigorously as if trying to affirm her statement. "I was scared and angry because of the secret you'd kept, and I... I... just wanted to lash out," she admits, looking him firmly in the eyes. "Not like that's an excuse, but..."

He raises his hand almost impatiently. _Wonderful_. If nothing else, his bloody deficiency always makes for a nice conversation, doesn't it? "It's okay, Swan. I understand," he replies soberly and tilts his head. "You were upset and worried for your family."

"Yeah, well." Of _fucking_ course he understands. Sometimes she wishes he wasn't so goddamn _understanding_ all the time; that would make a lot of things a lot easier, for example keeping her distance. "That doesn't make it any better," she states a little more curtly than intended. "I didn't want to hurt you, Hook," she finally adds firmly and sincerely.

He looks away for a moment, his jaw clenching, and he wishes, he _so_ wishes, she'd stop calling him that and say his name, his _real_ name. Just _once_. Then he presses his lips into another smile, not exactly fake, but maybe a little forced. "Rest assured, it takes a little more than a barb to do that."

"Still–"

Emma is cut off when David rushes out of the hospital room. "Where is he?" he asks, his eyes scanning the corridor, and when he spots Killian, he exclaims, "Hook!" Weirdly enough, somehow it doesn't bother him when Emma's father calls him that, he can't even tell why that is... maybe the sort of grumpy camaraderie that has slowly developed between them. The prince cocks his head in the direction of the room. "Come and meet our son." When he sees that Killian seems to hesitate, unsure what to do, he reaches out with his arm in an inviting gesture and smiles. "Please."

Killian still feels a little awkward, but he follows. David's gesture and demeanor warms his heart, because he knows it's genuine: if he has learned one thing about him, then it's that this man has not one duplicitous bone in his body, and he can't fake a smile for the life of him. He still feels like he's somehow intruding, but Henry and Snow are smiling at him in a welcoming way, and so he tentatively steps nearer, smiling a little insecurely at the tiny sleeping infant.

"He's gorgeous, Milady," he finally says. "Congratulations, to you both."

"Thank you," the princess bandit replies and adds pointedly, "for _everything_ you did."

He sways his head from side to side and averts his eyes, hand coming up to fidget and rub behind his ear. "Well, I didn't really–"

"You risked your life," David cuts him off and points out, "again." The prince looks down at his shoes for a moment and studies the dirt from Zelena's barn still covering their tips, before he looks back at Killian and adds in a sincerely regretful tone, "When we... took the first opportunity to mistrust you."

Killian would never have expected this. He almost squirms, raises his hand and waves him off a little awkwardly. "Really, mate, it's alright. I–"

"No, it's not," David interrupts, his pale blue eyes fixed firmly on Killian's, "and we're sorry." Snow looks at him sincerely, too, and nods, affirming that her husband speaks for her, as well. Killian doesn't want to admit it, but the appreciation from the couple means a lot to him. Just like, a few hours ago, it meant a lot to him how Emma's father quickly dropped the initial mistrust and defended him against his daughter's ire, _Zelena backed you into a corner, you did the best you could_. Maybe he's wrong, and they don't just barely tolerate him.

There's nothing more to say than to honor their obviously sincere apologies, so he finally caves and nods once, almost solemnly. "Accepted."

When David smiles again he can't help but smile back shyly, before he deliberately changes the subject. "So, the little Prince... does he have a name?" he inquires, briefly remembering the bickering of Emma's parents about that obviously touchy subject.

"We haven't decided yet," the princess bandit says quickly, "but you'll hear it tomorrow at the naming ceremony."

Killian cocks an eyebrow. "The naming ceremony?" he echoes.

"Sure." Snow throws him an amused glance, and he could have sworn she almost winked. "You... do know what that is, don't you?"

He chuckles a little awkwardly. "Of course. I'm just surprised that my presence... is requested."

"It's not only requested," David points out. "It would be a great pleasure to see you there."

Briefly, his hand comes up to scratch behind his ear, then he tilts his head in that minute almost-bow. "Gladly." _Bloody hell_ , it's really time for him to leave now; the scratchy sound of his voice embarrasses him even more than all that unexpected and undeserved praise.

David returns his nod with a satisfied smile, and Killian's gaze drifts off for a moment, an incredulous smile of his own tugging at the corners of his mouth. When he focuses again and turns around to leave, he notices that Emma's eyes are resting on him; when their gazes meet, she briefly smiles at him and nods.

"See you tomorrow."

She sounds like she's not displeased about that, and _this_ time her smile makes him truly happy – stupid maybe, because nothing has really changed. She still hasn't said his name, and she's still planning to leave for New York soon... but who knows? He has a feeling that she _almost_ said his name.

When he leaves the hospital, he smiles, too.


End file.
